Let Love In

27 May 2018

Let Love In

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It was pointed out to me in January,
shortly after falling flat on my face,
that I was resistant to love…
Or that I had been.

The man that told me this,
Day-in and Day-out,
saw me surrounded by Love
Seeking to enrich my being.

He said that I was emitting love.
Sending signals that welcomed Love.
Yet, like receiving applause for my art,
I was cutting love short
As it began to embrace me.

The first time he told me this,
We were in a late night situation
Whereas, i took it as gibberish.
The second time he told me this,
I had, unconsciously, stepped away
From someone who had reached
Out to me, and only me,
Prior to attempting suicide.
And this time it resonated.
Deafeningly Loud.
(He is alive)

Shortly thereafter,
I could recall being told this
over the past few years…
Time and time again
“Christiano, you have to let love in…” or
“Why are you resistant to receiving love?” or
“Do you have an issue with being loved?”

I didn’t …
And I don’t.
Unbeknownst to me then,
I was in a cocoon.
I was shedding,
Layers in preparation
For expanding.
I was going within…
Alone. And as
Only I could.
My resistance wasn’t conscious
However I was quite

And it is this truth,
This unconscious act of
Non-acceptance or
(seemingly) disregard
For those that sought
Only to give me Love
That has stung the hearts
Burned the fingertips
And closed the arms
Of those that consistently
Reached out
For me.

The appreciation I have;
The gratitude that I exude
For the unconditional
Love shared thru
My aloofness, selfishness
And silliness
From those who still stand
With me is immeasurable.

Love is everything…
And I have
no more resistance
To giving, nor receiving

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