1 year ago, I was working on “That Musical-Thingy” with a diverse, and unlikely, group of people. I was on the cusp of a new bubble beginning, emotionally fatigued, in anticipation of sharing the stage with the co-producer of MCKM and thinking of how best to step away from TheCanJam without it losing momentum. There was no clear cut way to do it, though I knew I’d be leaving to allow for something else to become.
Now, I am working on a plan for “That Animation-Thingy” with a small and diverse group of creatives who know nothing about animation. I’m yet again inside of my bubble and can sense the uncertainty of the near future. I am working, physically from afar yet energetically close with Labros on a few projects. Candid Radio has survived the 9-month threshold – barely… although it is growing. Kelly and I will basically say anything at any given time on the Candid Podcast.
This time last year, I was at rehearsal and figuring out how best to work with all of the moving parts on the musical. Now, I’m in the regular company of children between the ages of 2 and 11 who have reiterated why i refuse to grow up. Working with adults, I can see how closed-minded life experience, education and training has made them.
This time last year, the relationship with Anonymous World Legion Council was faltering based on a question of need that I could not answer. After working so hard with Sten and others to secure a location, I was asked by Kyablo “What do you need from me?” My answer and proceeding disposition did not sit well and led to a change of plans.
Planning for so many possibilities, making things work when things are absent, missing, extra or delayed has been a strong point of mine. That Musical-Thingy was built with these same fallbacks. WE support WE. If anyone was missing, misplaced or late, we could fill in the blanks instantly.
This year, I can see all of the connections, and some weeds, that I needed to cut. It is also clear which relationships I should nurture more. The jungle does afford some uncanny moments of clarity. I can see the clapping hands and hugs that were not in support or praise of my efforts. The questions I left unanswered allowed for doubt to be filled in by the being deemed closest to me. It was a moment of needed space to see who was with me and who was just around me.
This year, I can see how I far I’ve gone. I’ve paused to process my progress. Opening the cage for a caged bird to fly, doesn’t mean that the bird will fly. That cage is home. Knowing that, experiencing that and accepting that has been a Journey in and of itself.
Duke is silent and rightfully so. Brandon will be reprimanded for the things he has done consciously though not before he faces 2 of his victims. Serena’s cards will be shown and will be a moment of awe for those that ever bit her apple. Tatjana is realigning, Kashanna is my muse in the midst of several transitions, Rebecka is my equivalent of The Big Bang Theory and preparing to set sail on another adventure. DaWitch is impactful to say the least. Kelly is seeing himself and loving it. Nati is Nati, although being this close has shown me how sensitive and delicate she is.
In fact, it was the Dwarf, who unknowingly opened the flood gates to this emotional self-check. All the nonsense aside, this was the greatest gift she provided that I never saw coming. You have to experience some downs to know that you’re up. Accepting them for what they are removes the scorn and praise, leaving you to enjoy the entire experience.
What a dynamic year it’s been.
Life is __________.